I cry, just a little When I think of letting go

Yes, I just quoted Flo Rida's song lyrics on the title..

This is one shitty ramble with bad language and writing skills..

Don't know when it started or why, but it's been something like couple years now.. I simply can not cry anymore, except when I'm shocked like, really badly.
I read, watch or listen something really really sad which would've made me cry before. Nowadays I just get a lump in my throat and the feelin of tears behind my eyes, but not a single tears come out..
And it sucks and makes me even more upset.. I don't know if it's possible for this to happen/not happen because of that these past few years, when I'm in a public place I just bite my lip and do everything else that stops me from crying.. Suddenly I cant get cry even when I'm alone and no one would see or hear me..
I know I sometimes say I'm crying or something like that, but in reality, I just have the lump in my throat and my eyes sting like usually right before tears, I just dont get the tears.

It's really freaking frustrating cause actual crying makes u feel better after a while and gives this pure/"clear"/"clean" feelin inside.
Cause of this, I've noticed that I snap to people more and faster than before..

It's weird to hope and wish this, but I'm hoping that I'm actually gonna cry at Adam's concert in 39/38 days..